Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (June 30th, 2023)

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

"Listen here old man, your way of doing things are outdated and wrong. It's a WOman's world now, so we do things MY way, OLD MAN! I want your hat too. Give me your hat."

* "Indy" nods in agreement *

 

[jye4ever]

Your powers are weak old man

 

[Wor-Gar]

Yeah, you're right - but with Indy he IS the movie and franchise, whereas Poe was really only a supporting player among quite a few others. And even Leia was pretty much relegated to supporting player too.

So going down the "denigrate old white macho star" road too far could potentially derail pretty much everything - where the star and hero isn't welcome in his own franchise.

Exactly. That's why I say Disney is going to trip all over itself trying to have its message and appease Mr. Ford at the same time.

It's like saying "male violence isn't the answer, kiddies" and then having Indy murder all the villains in gloriously violent ways.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

Can't wait to watch rubberized Indy killing rubber villains.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Just the thought of all those wrinkles flapping while Ford's delivering a punch....

And poor John Williams score will literally become laughable as Indy gimps up into a steely close-up -- "Get -- off -- my -- lawn."

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

I think he'll be like Yoda in AOTC. Old Ford throws punch, skin and wrinkles flapping like a flying squirrel, then cut to the obvious younger, more athletic looking body double, then cut to Ford's face closeup.

It's going to be fun looking for the stuntman, CGI face double, and the real Ford. God, I hope we don't get a floating CGI head Indy.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Yep. The movie will surely be incongruent like that. I mean, they can't win: if they try to cover up his age, it will be laughable... if they let him play his age, it will be equally ridiculous. I just can't fathom how they can pull this off where it ends up as a good movie.

Maybe the opening train sequence is there as a symbol of the rest of the film: a train wreck.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

Oh yeah, that sequence has a stuntman in a Ford rubber mask. They're literally using every trick and technique available plus innovating some I'm sure, so like half the film's budget goes to hide the obvious. Now Mr. Ford got one arm, so we're looking at the most expensive film ever made.

 

[Wor-Gar]

I say this is literally becoming an animated film. A cartoon... and you know how I feel about cartoons.

I hate cartoons, Jock. I hate 'em.

 

[jungle jom]

I say this is literally becoming an animated film. A cartoon... and you know how I feel about cartoons.

I hate cartoons, Jock. I hate 'em.

Let me get this straight ... How will they promote this as Indiana Jones 5 Starring Harrison Fords Face? Sad end to a long career.

 

[TaliBane]

Well, given the cultural context these days, I'm genuinely shocked Disney would have actually done another Indy movie.

His one saving grace is that he is best known for battling the Nazis so that's a massive plus, because pretty much everything else Indy does - white man battling threatening POC (Arab people, South Asian people, S. American Indian people, Chinese people etc,) taking cultural relics from the developing world and putting them in Western museums, mocking non-Western foods as laughably gross etc etc - is pretty much 100% cancel-worthy in the current era.

 

[Johnny Utah]

This thread is going to be discussing Harrison's age all the way up to release isn't it

 

[Wor-Gar]

It's not the years, its the mileage.

 

[TaliBane]

This thread is going to be discussing Harrison's age all the way up to release isn't it

Just keep looking in that direction, Johnny.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

This thread is going to be discussing Harrison's age all the way up to release isn't it

Wait until the movie comes out and you see Ford blow a gasket on screen then replaced in the next shot by a 38 year old in a rubber mask or wig.

 

[Prime Clone]

God, I hope we don't get a floating CGI head Indy.

It could be awesome. It could be like... William Shatner's toupee!

 

[TurdFurgusonsHat]

If anyone wants to see an able bodied HF act Amazon has the 4k Blade Runner blu ray for $18 which is lower than usual. 2049 is the same price as well.

 

[Mondragon]

Well, given the cultural context these days, I'm genuinely shocked Disney would have actually done another Indy movie.

His one saving grace is that he is best known for battling the Nazis so that's a massive plus, because pretty much everything else Indy does - white man battling threatening POC (Arab people, South Asian people, S. American Indian people, Chinese people etc,) taking cultural relics from the developing world and putting them in Western museums, mocking non-Western foods as laughably gross etc etc - is pretty much 100% cancel-worthy in the current era.

Well he also battles Communists, today's equivalent totalitarian-cancel-mob, so old man Jones is still completely relevant as he battles his era's version of you all.

 

[TaliBane]

Well he also battles Communists, today's equivalent totalitarian-cancel-mob, so old man Jones is still completely relevant as he battles his era's version of you all.

Socialists-leftists of today don't believe the communists of the Soviet Union or China were/are in fact socialist. They categorize the CCP today as "authoritarian capitalism" and believe Stalin perverted the dream.

So the cancel mob was right there cheering Indy battling the Soviets - though the fact their leader was female, possibly lesbian with psychic powers and touting the artist-academic's power bob haircut would have been the big no-no.

 

[Wor-Gar]

If this is a point in Jungle Cruise, imagine what is in store for Indiana Jones...

Here is what Disney has put in The Jungle Cruise from LA Times Review:

MacGregor (Jack Whitehall), who has dapper tastes, packs way too many suitcases and, as the movie seldom tires of reminding us, is comically ill equipped for any kind of rugged living or heterosexual entanglement. But worry not: Once it’s done poking fun at an effeminate male stereotype, the script swoops in with a cautious coming-out monologue perfectly tailored to generate a fresh round of headlines celebrating and/or criticizing Disney’s latest LGBTQ milestone.