- Joined
- Apr 19, 2013
- Messages
- 10,683
- Reaction score
- 4,341
Just finished it. I have a lot of nitpicks and to be fair, this is a blockbuster effects-laden film based on comic books, so I can easily pick apart most MCU films too. There are some glaring issues here but in some ways, upon my first impression this along with Wonder Woman, Man of Steel and...well...nothing else immediately comes to mind...seems like the best we're gonna get out of this incarnation of the DCEU, such as it is.
I want to give the movie a C+. I don't regret watching it, but it's popcorn held together with gaffer tape and Christmas lights.
My bullet point first impressions in the spoiler tags below -- I literally jotted these down as I watched the 4 hour flick:
I want to give the movie a C+. I don't regret watching it, but it's popcorn held together with gaffer tape and Christmas lights.
My bullet point first impressions in the spoiler tags below -- I literally jotted these down as I watched the 4 hour flick:
Spoiler:
- Superman?s scream triggered them? I guess it gets explained later, sort of.
- Some of the cinematography is beautiful.
- Aquaman takes his sweater off but leaves his pants and boots on to dive, sometimes. It's inconsistent.
- Those village chicks are really into him LOL -- I guess it's the whole 'gods among us' trope.
- Steppenwolf looks like a video game. Still.
- Over complicated suicidal sealing mechanism on Themyscira? Check.
- Terrible CG on Themyscira.
- ?It?s toxic, that?s good? LOL -- I guess it was expository monologue to explain why it's a good secret base but still. Scenery chewing.
- Alfred?s preeeetty salty to Bruce. Takes me out of it.
- Janitor in lab was dumb. Doesn't he watch movies?
- So...the Parademons smell the box but went to the lab and not Cyborg?s closet?
- Historic site on fire for days and Diana just walks up to it and retrieved the arrow with no one around?
- How did she know where to take it? I guess you could hand-wave that away.
- Drowning sailor in rough sea has no life jacket or emergency equipment? Talk about not 'respecting the storm'.
- Aquaman is a litterbug with that whisky bottle. Sure, the ocean's your trash can, buddy.
- Why are all the Macguffin Boxes on earth? Oh wait, they were forgotten there by dude whose career is conquering with those key tools.
- So Steppenwolf just wants to go home and chill after being assigned to b******k nowhere? That?s his big conflict?
- Wasn?t Aries the bad guy Wonder Woman killed? Can't keep all these old gods straight.
- LOTR battle ? why doesn?t Darkseid just use bombs and guns against all those melee weapons? You suck Green Lantern.
- No one came back for the all-powerful Macguffin Boxes?
- Everyone else: set up boss fight dungeon to hide the boxes. Humans: let?s just put it in a shallow hole (like Cyborg?s closet LOL).
- Bruce and Diana?s would-be awkward rom-com stuff is the wrong kind of awkward for this film. WTF?
- Diana?s assertion that Aquaman is ?mixed? because he can breathe air contradicts what we know from his solo film; and if her people know them and went to war with them, she should know this? Or am I forgetting something?
- Hey Flash, don?t touch the girl?s hair all creepy when you?re saving her. It?s called ?consent?, creeper.
- Zach is at times heavy-handed but he?s sometimes decent at conveying emotional beats.
- Cyborg is experiencing a moment of TOTAL TRIUMPH at the game but he?s immediately destroyed because his dad wasn?t there? And now he?s pissed because instead of dying or ******** into a colostomy bag he?s an AWESOME CYBORG? There?s just no pleasing him. Okay, I guess he blames dad for mom because you know, it's not her fault she's a terrible driver and not aware of her surroundings.
- Lay off the slow-motion Zach.
- So...on Earth -- Cyborg is a god.
- The parademon is RIGHT THERE ... big bad Ringwraith KNOWS the box is there, and buzzes off over a small crowd and a cop? What did I miss?
- Barry?s father ... does Zach have daddy issues?
- Speaking of heavy-handed, hello Mercedes Benz product placement
- Victor needs to stop standing and walking like Cyber Gollum. We get it, you're mad about being an awesome cyborg but this is state of the art alien tech. Stop being a spazz.
- Zach wants to be operatic but then he throws in electric guitars to be badass or emo songs. Maybe pick one mood and stick with it?
- Powerless middle-aged Bruce leading a demigod, an Alien Tech demigod and a trans-dimensional being who can exist outside of regular space-time LOL yeah put that guy in the cape in front.
- ?I?m real when it?s useful? ? that?s a nice Batman line.
- ?I belong to no one? ? LOL that?s not what he meant learn some context Diana.
- Flash grabs every single piece of falling debris but somehow misses one and freezes in shock so Cyborg can shoot it? Lame.
- I get that as a godlike being one needs to delegate, but Darkseid?s most coveted thing is on Earth and he decides to let his disgraced middle manager take care of it? And why didn?t he know it was on Earth? Did he misplace it? Took a bump on the noggin in that fight and forgot?
- Aquaman suspecting Victor?s ?working for them? ? so he?s a COMPLETE idiot conspiracy theorist what now?
- How is Clark?s disappearance get treated / reacted to when Superman dies?
- Macguffin Boxes are dumb machines that just do what their creator says but they were aware of and afraid of Superman. Quite the leap of logic to risk a planet on, Bruce and co.
- Is Diana really 5000? She looks great.
- Alien biohazard containment breach and they just let everyone evacuate to the street willy-nilly and there's only one guy in a containment suit? THAT'S HOW YOU GET XENOMORPHS, GUYS.
- How did Martian Manhunter know about Lois?
- What did Cyborg see? What?s with the visions!
- Another dad bites the dust LOL.
- After losing their boxes, the Atlanteans and Themyscirae simply moped while our heroes did all the heavy lifting??
- ?I told you so Master? LOL middle managers.
- Superman appearing to beat Steppenwolf?s ass still quite satisfying. Very super.
- Colour toning in this cut far superior albeit still too much poor CG.
- A deeply flawed film, but gotta respect the ambition.
- Far more satisfying than the Whedon version.
- Dad?s happy Flash is getting a crap job instead of a law degree?
- Why is Bats randomly standing on a giant tank? Is he about to go fight Mutants?
- This would have been a mediocre but serviceable start to a shared DC universe.
- Did Diana not want to check on Themyscira at all? Or can?t she?
- Nice shot of Superman being Super in Metropolis at the end. Still back in black tho.
- Security protocols at Arkham are trash.
- Lex?s female bodyguards are so 80s. Robert Plant meets...Tom Vu?
- Okay that IS the darkest timeline.
- Leto Joker was well done.
- Ultimately this is what DCEU should have been. It felt like a comic to me, flaws and all.
