Getting over my wife cheating on me..

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I just want to say that you guys have been a great help. I think I got better input from you guys than my family. It's funny, my brother and my mom tells me that I don't want to know what she did. They say I will never look at her the same, maybe she thinks this too, she's told me "No, I would never sleep with someone else because I know you would never look at me the same" I htink I would feel that way for a little while but I think that I would eventually let it go. I would treat her with her respect because she was WOMEN enough to tell me the truth!

Exactly - if she can come clean and be honest - that will help pave the way for forgiveness and possibly working towards making this work. If she can't even do that - how can you move forward? You will always have doubts and it will be especially difficult to rebuild trust.
 
Damn, Chaver. I just saw this.
I´m really sorry for you and I really can relate in a way, although not the same, cause I´m younger and have no child, But...gettin´cheated on by a girl/women always leaves that stabbing mark with the fitting pain.
I´m really sorry and I sincerly hope that all will work out for the both of you and especially the child.
Take care, buddy...heads up.
 
Damn, Chaver. I just saw this.
I´m really sorry for you and I really can relate in a way, although not the same, cause I´m younger and have no child, But...gettin´cheated on by a girl/women always leaves that stabbing mark with the fitting pain.
I´m really sorry and I sincerly hope that all will work out for the both of you and especially the child.
Take care, buddy...heads up.

Thanks man.

It hurts but Im trying.
 
Okay this is what I'm talking about. My wife today got onto me about talking with my friends online because one of my friends told me a pretty messed up story about a friend of ours and I just had to tell one of my other friends. She tells me I'm not going to have any friends if I "gossip" WTF?? Now, the friend that told me this story was kinda talking a little crap about the friend in question. That for me is considered gossip, when you start to criticize that person in a mean manner. Or, if you spread crap around habitually. I, on the other hand did not do that when telling the story to my one friend. I didn't get into the whole "that guy is an idiot" gossip trash talk.

And I know my wife gossip's, I hear it everyday from her when she come home from work. Why does she do this? I mean she must realize that she's a Hypocrite. I love her man but I don't understand why she acts this way sometimes? It's weird , like she's just being jealous of me talking to my friends.. Sometimes I hear her talk about her day at work and really seems like she just goes way out of her way to let me know that people at work like her and think she 's cool or whatever. Like, she'll tell me "oh this guy here really likes me he helps me with stuff. I see him looking at me all the time" I don't say anything.. I just try and change the subject. I would never try to make her feel that way, like attention from some other women excited me like that. It seems she's trying to make me jealous. And then when she sees me talking to just one my guy friends, she doesn't show jealousy dead on. She'll just be overly critical about what were talking about or shell say somthing like what she said above. That round about jealousy.
 
Okay this is what I'm talking about. My wife today got onto me about talking with my friends online because one of my friends told me a pretty messed up story about a friend of ours and I just had to tell one of my other friends. She tells me I'm not going to have any friends if I "gossip" WTF?? Now, the friend that told me this story was kinda talking a little crap about the friend in question. That for me is considered gossip, when you start to criticize that person in a mean manner. Or, if you spread crap around habitually. I, on the other hand did not do that when telling the story to my one friend. I didn't get into the whole "that guy is an idiot" gossip trash talk.

And I know my wife gossip's, I hear it everyday from her when she come home from work. Why does she do this? I mean she must realize that she's a Hypocrite. I love her man but I don't understand why she acts this way sometimes? It's weird , like she's just being jealous of me talking to my friends.. Sometimes I hear her talk about her day at work and really seems like she just goes way out of her way to let me know that people at work like her and think she 's cool or whatever. Like, she'll tell me "oh this guy here really likes me he helps me with stuff. I see him looking at me all the time" I don't say anything.. I just try and change the subject. I would never try to make her feel that way, like attention from some other women excited me like that. It seems she's trying to make me jealous. And then when she sees me talking to just one my guy friends, she doesn't show jealousy dead on. She'll just be overly critical about what were talking about or shell say somthing like what she said above. That round about jealousy.

Chaver I'm going to try to express this in emoticons since the words aren't getting through.

:chase:faq:fireworks:blissy:welcome1:

IE, Leave, sign the papers (divorce papers), celebrate, try to be happy, and your welcome.
:yess:
 
Exactly - if she can come clean and be honest - that will help pave the way for forgiveness and possibly working towards making this work. If she can't even do that - how can you move forward? You will always have doubts and it will be especially difficult to rebuild trust.

:lecture Exactly, couldn't have put it better Jen. If she has any respect for you, the marriage and your child then she's got to tell you everything, what really went on with that guy, where was her mind at that point and where is it now. Only then can you all as a family properly start to move forward again.
 
And if she tells the dirty truth, still leave her..i would.
 
If you don't feel happy now, do you think you could be happy with her, later? Life is too short to be miserable. Would knowing all the details really help you get through it and help forgive her or would knowing all the details help you separate yourself from her? I hope you find happiness in the end for your sake and your son's.
 
Okay this is what I'm talking about. My wife today got onto me about talking with my friends online because one of my friends told me a pretty messed up story about a friend of ours and I just had to tell one of my other friends. She tells me I'm not going to have any friends if I "gossip" WTF?? Now, the friend that told me this story was kinda talking a little crap about the friend in question. That for me is considered gossip, when you start to criticize that person in a mean manner. Or, if you spread crap around habitually. I, on the other hand did not do that when telling the story to my one friend. I didn't get into the whole "that guy is an idiot" gossip trash talk.

And I know my wife gossip's, I hear it everyday from her when she come home from work. Why does she do this? I mean she must realize that she's a Hypocrite. I love her man but I don't understand why she acts this way sometimes? It's weird , like she's just being jealous of me talking to my friends.. Sometimes I hear her talk about her day at work and really seems like she just goes way out of her way to let me know that people at work like her and think she 's cool or whatever. Like, she'll tell me "oh this guy here really likes me he helps me with stuff. I see him looking at me all the time" I don't say anything.. I just try and change the subject. I would never try to make her feel that way, like attention from some other women excited me like that. It seems she's trying to make me jealous. And then when she sees me talking to just one my guy friends, she doesn't show jealousy dead on. She'll just be overly critical about what were talking about or shell say somthing like what she said above. That round about jealousy.

First of all, hi :wave.

Second of all, sorry to hear about all this, man.

Third of all, those two paragraphs you typed seem to tell me that you're getting less and less into her. Just IMO, it's as if you're starting to hone in on all of the little things she does that didn't bother you until now when you know something's up. This pretty much confirms what you've said about being suspicious in the past. As a result, your mind's finally reacting to it and is getting closer to making a decision. What, deep down, do you want to do? You must have a different outlook on her than you had before.

Hope it all works out, and I personally would leave her. It'd be a bit rocky for the kid, but less rocky than if you stayed and gritted your teeth through the ordeal. Also, based on what you said about the pregnancy, it really might be best to call it quits. What's done is done, and it's time to focus on the two people that are at the greatest potential to be hurt by staying with her: you and your son. Just my thought.
 
My first and only reply to your thread .....

From what I've read so far and with it all being one sided....

You're in a toxic relationship.!! :lecture

The only positive thing I've heard about it, is that "the sex is great". :cuckoo:

IMO...You need to at least seperate for a while. you both need to have an open and honest "clear the air" type disscussion with each other. that would be a MUST for any reconcilation to happen.

The hardest part of what you have going on is the child.. as long as you are finacially stable enough to pay your own rent and care for your son, that is what will matter most.

Overall, be cool and stay as calm as you're able in this. remember the saying "if I knew then what I know now". that's what you will think five years from now when all this is behind you.

Stay strong and learn as much about yourself and what happened that allowed all of this to happen. do your best to grow as a person and not allow it to happen again...

:wave
 
She lied to you about the initial meetings with the "friend" and you have no reason to believe that she isn't lying now about any physical relationship.

Staying with her is going to result in even more pain for you and especially for your 9 yr old, as he is absorbing everything going on around him at that age.

Leave here and find someone that will care for you the same way you care for them. Don't let complacency and emotion cloud your better judgment.

Sorry to hear this has happened brother, hope this works out for the best for you.
 
Hey Meathook,

Can I have your phone number? I would like to call you when I have a problem. :)

I would add just one thing to all the awesome information and suggestions posted above.

If it comes to a point where you have to leave, have someone there to witness it. I don't want to go into specifics, but I will tell you that I have personal knowledge of a situation where a guy tried to leave his wife and it got really ugly for him.

Have someone there to help you pack up your belongings and your belongings only. Clothes, toiletries and maybe a few belongings that can be considered yours only. Don't talk, just pack and get the hell out so your witness can say you never touched her or talked to her. Better yet, do it when she is not home. Meathook is right, the law doesn't care who really made those marks on your wife, or who tore up the living room. Once the accusations start flying you become the person they want to get their hands on.
 
If it comes to a point where you have to leave, have someone there to witness it. I don't want to go into specifics, but I will tell you that I have personal knowledge of a situation where a guy tried to leave his wife and it got really ugly for him.

Have someone there to help you pack up your belongings and your belongings only. Clothes, toiletries and maybe a few belongings that can be considered yours only. Don't talk, just pack and get the hell out so your witness can say you never touched her or talked to her. Better yet, do it when she is not home. Meathook is right, the law doesn't care who really made those marks on your wife, or who tore up the living room. Once the accusations start flying you become the person they want to get their hands on.


On that note, you can call the police and request that they send on officer to stand by as a witness. :lecture
 
"I tried already and all she did was scream at me and hit her self in the head with her shoe and the remote.."
Don't know what you tried but this women is demented:cuckoo:

Seriously though she sounds childish, manipulative and materialistic from what I have gleaned.

The choice is yours whether you stay with her, but from my experience, if you have been lied to and you let her away with it, she'll do it again and again.

Most liars tell half truths to disguise their lies and she sounds like a big liar and cheat.

If you make yourself a doormat then what do you expect?
Sorry but that is the truth.

Staying together for the kids sake, while may be good intentioned is not the best thing imo.

If you can split amicabily, that would be the best solution, but its up to you and while getting advice is good, no matter how many times people tell you something, you have to come to your own conclusion.

Good luck:)
 
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