Getting over my wife cheating on me..

Collector Freaks Forum

Help Support Collector Freaks Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Status
Not open for further replies.

The Chaver

Super Freak
CF Supporter
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
7,713
Reaction score
84
Location
chicago
Just would like to say something before I say anything else.. I am over this now and bringing this up now is sorta counter intuitive. I dont know? Maybe Im not over it?? But I have not mentioned this to any of the freaks and I just would like share this now for some reason.

Married for 11 years together for 13. Have one 9 year old son. Relationship was rocky for the first 5 years but then got better, MUCH better....so I thought...?

My wife cheated on me back in May with this POS guy at work that she worked with. A GUY FOR WHOM SHE SAID SHE HATED! Not sure of all of what they did? All I know is she was telling me that she was going to a friends house for 5 hours at a time for the past 6 months on 6 seperate occassions, without me, which I thought was too long to be at a friends house. Then noticed her becoming distant in the relationship so I checked the phone bill online. I found that she had over 300 min. in phone calls and 400 text messages to this one phone number that I did not recognize. I confronted her about it and she said that the number belonged to a guy that she worked with. She said that they were just talking, that's all. I believed her, somewhat, and then went on about my business. Then I started thinking...really hard. I decided to call her friend, the one she was going over to visit for long periods of time... I called and asked her friend, whom I barely talk to, when was the last time she saw my wife? She said December! I knew she was cheating then, because she was going over there at least 5 times after December. I was crushed...

I confronted her again. She denied it at first but then admitted, not to cheating, but to lying to me and just hanging out with this guy outside of work. Later she admitted to me that he bought her stuff and then prceeded to pull the stuff out of the closet, which she had hidden there for months without me knowing?? She said they were just friends and that he bought stuff for everyone... I decided to stay and I'm just now getting over it.


So what do you guys think, do you beleive this women? Or, does it even matter at this point. I thought my wife was innocent of this type of behavior? I married her because I thought she was different from most girls, because I felt like this women would never do something like this to me. I don't even think I care to know the truth at this point. But if my wife is a slutt and has been this whole time, then that's a different story. Then, I have to know who I'm dealing with so I can get out.
 
Last edited:
:monkey2 wow man i feel sooooo sorry for you . i have been cheated on , and when you find out , its really like someone stabs you in the heart .. the best thing i can tell you , that worked for me is , as hard as it can be , dont think about her , move on , surround yourself with freinds or other females , try a bar , meet new women , thats what i did , if i were you i wouldn't believe anything she has to say to you at this point , once the lies start , they never stop , once she cheats , most cases she will cheat again .... i know the phrase women use is " Guys Suck" but ya know for us men "women Suck 2"


again buddy im sorry for your heartache ... whats even worse is you have a child with her .......:monkey2
 
Yeah, she swore up and down that she didn't screw him. And anytime the conversation arrises, without me saying anything of the sort, she says that I'm acting like she screwed the guy! She says hat she wished she did screw the guy, that way she'd feel like our arguing about it was worth it...:slap
 
She did say that the reason she was seeing the guy was because I wasn't nice enough to her. That this guy, whom she said was an _______ to her at work at first, was nicer!
 
Yea all signs seem to point to Yes. Unless you think you can honestly go through life accepting that I would leave.
 
:monkey2 wow man i feel sooooo sorry for you . i have been cheated on , and when you find out , its really like someone stabs you in the heart .. the best thing i can tell you , that worked for me is , as hard as it can be , dont think about her , move on , surround yourself with freinds or other females , try a bar , meet new women , thats what i did , if i were you i wouldn't believe anything she has to say to you at this point , once the lies start , they never stop , once she cheats , most cases she will cheat again .... i know the phrase women use is " Guys Suck" but ya know for us men "women Suck 2"


again buddy im sorry for your heartache ... whats even worse is you have a child with her .......:monkey2

Still with her. I have stayed because of my son and because I do love her and im giving her a chance. She seems to be more committed to me and closer. But she says and does some things now that make me wonder who the hell this person is?
 
She did say that the reason she was seeing the guy was because I wasn't nice enough to her. That this guy, whom she said was an _______ to her at work at first, was nicer!

Does she perceive spending money on her being nice? Unless they honestly didn't screw and that is why he is spending all of this money on her to get in her pants. Maybe...but my guess is the guy is getting something in return.
 
Does she perceive spending money on her being nice? Unless they honestly didn't screw and that is why he is spending all of this money on her to get in her pants. Maybe...but my guess is the guy is getting something in return.

Yes, that's what I suspected and that's what Ive been told else ware..
 
Does she perceive spending money on her being nice? Unless they honestly didn't screw and that is why he is spending all of this money on her to get in her pants. Maybe...but my guess is the guy is getting something in return.

Yeah she told me that it was spending money on her that she thought was nice. Although she never wanted me to do that for her?
 
Without actual witnesses you'll never really know my friend. Its her word against yours. At this point my advice to you is to tough it out for your 9 year old boy. Wait until he is ready to take on the world alone and then go your seperate ways. I know it sounds like a LONG time but that boy should be your only concern right now. Love is very overrated. I love my wife dearly and trust that something like this would never happen but when a child is involved your top priority should be them no matter what. Sure your life may feel empty and sad right now but you have the choice to end it there and not make it spread any further.

I hope this helps.
 
It all comes down to trust. I can't imagine being with someone knowing they have cheated on me. It would be hard to believe her once you've caught her lying before. I can also understand wanting to make it work for the sake of your kid. What this can do to him is really the saddest part of it. It's really up to you and want you want.
 
Getting cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can't imagine what it would be like if it were my *wife* who cheated on me.

The only advice I can offer is to make sure you keep your head clear and think things through before you do *anything*. I was cheated on by a girl I was gonna marry years ago and did some really stupid ____ that I will regret forever. Don't be that guy.
 
if there was nothing going on why lie in the first place? maybe see if you guys can get in to see a councellor or something. an objective third party may be helpful and maybe she'll be truthful in a safer environment. sorry man that sucks
 
It all sounds very suspicious to me. At the very least an emotional affair is going on; and to many that can be as bad or even worse than a physical one.

I would disagree about staying together for your son's sake. Too many times parents inadvertantly hurt their children or burden them with guilt for staying together "for them". It sounds good on paper, but resentment can build quickly towards your spouse and even you kid.

At the end of the day you have to be either able to trust your wife or move on. Right now it sounds like you want to trust her, but you're not getting what you want to make that happen. This may be an extreme option, and could lead to a lot more trouble, but you could hire a private investigator. Although if you are at that point I'd think the relationship is pretty well done.

There is also counseling, could help to open up a dialog about what's going on.
 
I agree with GB on this one. If you can work out your problems and have a trusting, loving relationship than that is great and I think it's something worth trying. But, if you can not rebuild that trust then it may very well be better to leave. I think staying in a bad marriage for the sake of a child will most likely cause more damage to the kid than if the parents separate amicably and both can hopefully be in a better and more positive place for their child.

Sorry this has happened to you and I wish you and your child the best.
 
I agree with GB on this one. If you can work out your problems and have a trusting, loving relationship than that is great and I think it's something worth trying. But, if you can not rebuild that trust then it may very well be better to leave. I think staying in a bad marriage for the sake of a child will most likely cause more damage to the kid than if the parents separate amicably and both can hopefully be in a better and more positive place for their child.

Sorry this has happened to you and I wish you and your child the best.

Yea I agree also. My cousin is pretty much doing this right and now and has been for the past 5 or 6 years and I don't want to think how those kids are going to turn out because of it.
 
It all sounds very suspicious to me. At the very least an emotional affair is going on; and to many that can be as bad or even worse than a physical one.

I would disagree about staying together for your son's sake. Too many times parents inadvertantly hurt their children or burden them with guilt for staying together "for them". It sounds good on paper, but resentment can build quickly towards your spouse and even you kid.

At the end of the day you have to be either able to trust your wife or move on. Right now it sounds like you want to trust her, but you're not getting what you want to make that happen. This may be an extreme option, and could lead to a lot more trouble, but you could hire a private investigator. Although if you are at that point I'd think the relationship is pretty well done.

There is also counseling, could help to open up a dialog about what's going on.

I agree with GB on this one. If you can work out your problems and have a trusting, loving relationship than that is great and I think it's something worth trying. But, if you can not rebuild that trust then it may very well be better to leave. I think staying in a bad marriage for the sake of a child will most likely cause more damage to the kid than if the parents separate amicably and both can hopefully be in a better and more positive place for their child.

Sorry this has happened to you and I wish you and your child the best.

"Married for 11 years together for 13. Have one 9 year old son. Relationship was rocky for the first 5 years but then got better, MUCH better....so I thought...?"

But he doesn't mention anywhere that they have fought in front of their boy. It seems that the past 6 years have been a pleasant family environment for their child. Right?

My point is, if they can reconcile their situation for the sake of their boy then its worth it. Somewhat moving on if there already is an established peace in the household. If thats the case then their boy will be fine - raised by both mother and father.
 
Should've called Cheaters.

Take your kid and get out of that brewing ____ storm.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top