Getting over my wife cheating on me..

[nemenforcer]

Wow, maybe I'm just in denial...

Nah, its just hard stuff to go through. Theres no easy answers. I do wish you the best and I hope your situation turns out better for you than it did for me. For what its worth, she did marry you, so there is definately a part of her that wants to be with you.

 

[Rodders]

WOW, i'm so sorry to read this. Do you think that you can get over it?

Ultimately, you need to get to the truth and make your decision from there. Until you know exactly what happened, or you believe what your wife has told you, then the tension's just going to be under the surface and your son will pick up on that. It won't be healthy for him, your wife or you. Try to be the better person and don't throw it in her face every time you have an arguement. At least they no longer work together. I'm not sure how i would cope with that. Personally, i think that you want to believe her and move on with your marraige.

I'd also say that if she doesn't want to go to councelling, maybe you could go on your own. From what i can see, this happened 6 months ago. Your posts suggest that you're coping with it and not necessarily dealing with it.

Good luck and i hope it all works out.

 

[Darkseed]

Yep that's my wife to a T She's never satisfied with what she's got. She always wants more. This is true with her job, her money, her appearence, my family.

Wow, maybe I'm just in denial...

Perhaps you are in denial, you forgot to add you in that list of things she's not satisfied with and wanting more bro.

 

[Bannister]

Like today I found a new song that I liked and she hated on me about it. She said that it sounded like crap and she couldn't beleive I liked it. This is the same person that was going out with this guy who liked Just Bieber?? And my wife listens to Death Metal. WTF? If I burp or fart it's gross but if she does it it's not a big deal. She doesn't like me to wear earrings but the guy she was seeing, she told me, wears earrings.

He is 25 and likes Bieber. Are there any straight men that age that listen to that ____? Seriously.

 

[The Chaver]

Perhaps you are in denial, you forgot to add you in that list of things she's not satisfied with and wanting more bro.

Yeah I did..

 

[occulum]

Yeah I haven't gotten into that yet, but yeah I knew something was wrong with her when we first started dating. I even tried to break it off then because she was just really weird. She would act one way in front of me and another way in front of her friends and then another way infront of her enemies. She would become a completely different person when she was mad at you, the yelling and screaming and profanities. I mean, I have her friends come up to me and tell me how nice she is and what a great person she is. These people obviously don't know my wife..? All the men she works with thinks she's innocent. She even gave that impression when I first met her and for the 8 years after. She's really weird.. She always complains about the music I listen to. I listen to some stuff like Depeche Mode, techno and industrial. She absolutely hates it when I play my music. I never hate on her music!

Like today I found a new song that I liked and she hated on me about it. She said that it sounded like crap and she couldn't beleive I liked it. This is the same person that was going out with this guy who liked Just Bieber?? And my wife listens to Death Metal. WTF? If I burp or fart it's gross but if she does it it's not a big deal. She doesn't like me to wear earrings but the guy she was seeing, she told me, wears earrings.

I think you right, she does have a personality disorder.

you should just sit and reread all of your own posts in this thread and then ask yourself why you should stay with her.
A relationship shouldnt be difficult. It should be something you enjoy with someone you enjoy and vice versa.

ive been in your position. Youre doing exactly what I did. Clinging on to a pipe-dream of what you think the relationship should be and can be ...... reality is that its not and never will be.

Split and spend that time and energy looking for someone who will appreciate you and and not get enjoyment from belittling you and tormenting you and instead enjoys seeing you ..... *drum rolllllllll* BEING HAPPY AND YOURSELF.

if only she cared about you as much as you seem to care about her.

 

[Natrix]

you should just sit and reread all of your own posts in this thread and then ask yourself why you should stay with her.
A relationship shouldnt be difficult. It should be something you enjoy with someone you enjoy and vice versa.

Rereading all his post makes me wonder why he got together with her in the first place. It sounds like she had many issues and lots of warning flags all over the place from the beginning of the relationship.

No offense, Chaver. I'm sorry you are having so many issues in this difficult situation you are in.

 

[Sweet Rabbit]

My wife actually shares too much with everyone. Way more than I wold like. Even when her life is going well she still shares too much with people outside the relationship. And then she tries to make me believe that she doesnt. Sometimes I feel like when I'm around her co workers or her friends that they are looking at me in a strange way? Like they know something about me..

nah, they prob know what she's up to & don't have the guts to tell you lol

 

[The Chaver]

Rereading all his post makes me wonder why he got together with her in the first place. It sounds like she had many issues and lots of warning flags all over the place from the beginning of the relationship.

No offense, Chaver. I'm sorry you are having so many issues in this difficult situation you are in.

I got with her because I thought she was a nice person. But what I found out a couple of months later was that she was not who I thought she was. I tried to get away but she started making me feel sorry for her so I hung around and tried to make it work. She ended up getting pregnant ( I thought she was on the pill) So that was even more reason for me to stay with her, I thought.. It took 3 or 4 years for us to finally have a good relationship together, then this.

 

[Kabukiman]

You got married 'cause you guys got pregnant?

Dude, I'm really sorry but I don't think this is gonna work. Seriously. This will end poorly for everybody involved.

Remember I'm just some ___hole on a message board, so don't go making any life changing decisions one what we're saying here, but given what you've said in this thread, that's my opinion.

 

[Valfar]

You're not a ugly looking guy or anything Chav, get out and start hunting for a better woman.

 

[BadMoon]

I got with her because I thought she was a nice person. But what I found out a couple of months later was that she was not who I thought she was. I tried to get away but she started making me feel sorry for her so I hung around and tried to make it work. She ended up getting pregnant ( I thought she was on the pill) So that was even more reason for me to stay with her, I thought.. It took 3 or 4 years for us to finally have a good relationship together, then this.

Ok man. This says it all. You both are at fault. End it and focus on taking care of your child. I don't like to sugar coat things. There you have it.

 

[BadMoon]

You're not a ugly looking guy or anything Chav, get out and start hunting for a better woman.

I wouldn't recommend that either. I would say be alone for a while and take everything in. Then let it all out and rise up as a new and better man. You don't need a rebound chick. You will then likely hurt her and in turn become the ass.

 

[The Chaver]

You're not a ugly looking guy or anything Chav, get out and start hunting for a better woman.

Yeah I know. My wife has me feeling so insecure now after she cheated on me. I love her but she isn't the hottest girl I've ever been with, nor is she hot in many other mens eyes either. I'm not conceded or anything but I know I get tons of looks from other women, as well as flirting. My wife hates it. Especially when her friends do it. But she always tells me stuff like they don't know you and crap like that. I mean, what the hell is that suppose to mean. She says "it's just a joke".

But I'm just so use to her. I couldn't see my self with someone else for some reason..?

 

[BadMoon]

Yeah I know. My wife has me feeling so insecure now after she cheated on me. I love her but she isn't the hottest girl I've ever been with, nor is she hot in many other mens eyes either. I'm not conceded or anything but I know I get tons of looks from other women, as well as flirting. My wife hates it. Especially when her friends do it. But she always tells me stuff like they don't know you and crap like that. I mean, what the hell is that suppose to mean. She says "it's just a joke".

But I'm just so use to her. I couldn't see my self with someone else for some reason..?

You can't see yourself with someone else because you are simply not ready. Like I said even if you started to shortly you will treat her like ____ and she will become just a ____ toy for you to let your frustrations out on. Don't do that.

 

[The Chaver]

Kinda sucks.. Talking about this again is bringing back all those old feeliings again. I feel like I'm right back when I first dicovered..I have soo many questions for her but I know it's going to get me no where asking her anything..

 

[Jen]

Kinda sucks.. Talking about this again is bringing back all those old feeliings again. I feel like I'm right back when I first dicovered..I have soo many questions for her but I know it's going to get me no where asking her anything..

I'm sorry - but if she's not willing to sit down and talk to you about this and be completely open and honest, I don't see how this marriage can work.

 

[The Chaver]

I wouldn't recommend that either. I would say be alone for a while and take everything in. Then let it all out and rise up as a new and better man. You don't need a rebound chick. You will then likely hurt her and in turn become the ass.

I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone for a while after this one ends. But I couldn't say that much for my wife. Knowing her, she'd probably have a man right after I was gone, considering she needed another one while she was WITH me.

 

[The Chaver]

I'm sorry - but if she's not willing to sit down and talk to you about this and be completely open and honest, I don't see how this marriage can work.

She's got to have something really nasty to hide. Or maybe she's been around with more than just this one guy, I've had suspicions but could never bring them to realization.

 

[The Chaver]

I just want to say that you guys have been a great help. I think I got better input from you guys than my family. It's funny, my brother and my mom tells me that I don't want to know what she did. They say I will never look at her the same, maybe she thinks this too, she's told me "No, I would never sleep with someone else because I know you would never look at me the same" I htink I would feel that way for a little while but I think that I would eventually let it go. I would treat her with her respect because she was WOMEN enough to tell me the truth!