Kids Say the Darndest Things

[AllisonAmy]

Ok, it only counts if you cried real tears and laughed until your face hurt...


"Sometimes, at school, the teachers give us Scotch."

(my daughter is four years old, in preschool)


huh, what?

Butterscotch?

"No"

Scotch tape?

"No"

Snacks?

"No"

Is it something you eat or drink?

"No"

I tried so hard not to laugh when we talked about it. When I told my husband later that night, I about died.

I still have no idea what she was talking about.



I want to hear your stories!!

 

[Darth Cruel]

This is a re-post that I did in a similar thread that I stared about a year ago. This one still kills me.

We were at the dinner table last night when my son asked me:

"Dad, what does dysfunction mean?"

I told him, "That just means something doesn't work correctly, why?"

And he looked at me as if pondering what I said and then he said...

"Reptile dysfunction?"

And, as I posted in that thread, when he asked me what it meant, I did tell him that it means your lizard does not work correctly.
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[AllisonAmy]

This is a re-post that I did in a similar thread that I stared about a year ago. This one still kills me.

We were at the dinner table last night when my son asked me:

"Dad, what does dysfunction mean?"

I told him, "That just means something doesn't work correctly, why?"

And he looked at me as if pondering what I said and then he said...

"Reptile dysfunction?"

And, as I posted in that thread, when he asked me what it meant, I did tell him that it means your lizard does not work correctly.
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That's hilarious.

I tried to do a search for similiar stuff, but couldn't find anything.

Hey mods, can you move it to the appropriate thread???

 

[Darth Cruel]

That's hilarious.

I tried to do a search for similiar stuff, but couldn't find anything.

Hey mods, can you move it to the appropriate thread???

It is called "As Art Linkletter said, Kids say the darndest things".

Edit - There are only like 20 posts in it. It appears that there are not very many funny kids in the world any more.

 

[AllisonAmy]

It is called "As Art Linkletter said, Kids say the darndest things".

Edit - There are only like 20 posts in it. It appears that there are not very many funny kids in the world any more.

Thank you!

 

[Darth Cruel]

My wife is a teacher...so I am going to ask her what could possible have been meant by "scotch". Random stuff like that really gets you thinking.

 

[AllisonAmy]

My wife is a teacher...so I am going to ask her what could possible have been meant by "scotch". Random stuff like that really gets you thinking.

It wasn't hopscotch...

 

[Biojex]

I've got one!

I'm an assistant teacher at a middle school and we were playing "Never have I ever" with the kids (Typically a drinking game but in this case each kid held up five fingers and someone would saying something they had never done (for example: I have never broken a bone) and if one of the kids had done the thing (say they had broken a bone), they had to put down a finger. If you lost all fingers you were out)

Anyway, the boys of the group were mostly trying to get the girls out, so one of them says; "Never have I ever worn a skirt".

One of the other boys stops and says "wait wait...in public?" He was dead serious in his question and I looked at the other teacher and we just started cracking up! Quite literally almost falling out of our chairs. It was one of those truly classic moments.

 

[roguebaron]

I was playing a drama game with my grade 4's that involved making up titles to stories you would read in different situations. The topic was "Books you would not read to your book buddy", the buddies were kindergaten. One of my girls stands at the front of the room with a completely straight face and says "three horny pigs."
I just about died. She had no idea what it meant, she told me her brother used the word in his mad libs a lot.

Her mother got a real kick out of it as well.

 

[devilof76]

It wasn't hopscotch...

Maybe she did give them scotch.

 

[AllisonAmy]

Maybe she did give them scotch.

That'd be super easy to manage your class - put them all to sleep!

 

[Darth Cruel]

My son (11 years old) was told to use the word "nation" in a sentence.

His sentence was:


"This nation is being destroyed by Obama."

 

[Darth_Fatso]

I was at clothes store severall years ago and I heard this kid who was no older than 6 ask him mom "mommy what are titties?" and she asks where did you hear that word and he replies "uncle whatever say you have real nice titties". I'm not sure what was funnier, the kid's question or the look on his mom's face. You could see everyone within ear shot was trying not to laugh.

 

[mr.thrifty]

Well did she??

 

[AllisonAmy]

My son (11 years old) was told to use the word "nation" in a sentence.

His sentence was:


"This nation is being destroyed by Obama."

 

[Darth Cruel]

A new one from my son.

He looked at my alarm clock and said:

"Dad! The same company that made your alarm clock made mine!"

I asked what the name of the company was and he told me...

"Snooze!"

There is never a dull moment with that boy.

 

[devilof76]

Hanging out at my mom's garage sale yesterday with my two-year old niece, she starts speaking gibberish as an old man comes walking through the driveway. I said to her, "Don't speak Chinese in front of strangers." She asks why. I tell her, "Because people will think you're crazy." Without missing a beat, and perfect deadpan, she says, "I am crazy. I'll kill you."

The old man didn't take very long to decide he didn't want anything.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Hanging out at my mom's garage sale yesterday with my two-year old niece, she starts speaking gibberish as an old man comes walking through the driveway. I said to her, "Don't speak Chinese in front of strangers." She asks why. I tell her, "Because people will think you're crazy." Without missing a beat, and perfect deadpan, she says, "I am crazy. I'll kill you."

The old man didn't take very long to decide he didn't want anything.

LOL...you have either a comedienne or a serial killer in the making there!

 

[fosing]

Hanging out at my mom's garage sale yesterday with my two-year old niece, she starts speaking gibberish as an old man comes walking through the driveway. I said to her, "Don't speak Chinese in front of strangers." She asks why. I tell her, "Because people will think you're crazy." Without missing a beat, and perfect deadpan, she says, "I am crazy. I'll kill you."

The old man didn't take very long to decide he didn't want anything.

cute.

 

[devilof76]

LOL...you have either a comedienne or a serial killer in the making there!

Comedienne.

She has a brutal Loony Tunes sense of humor. She would drop an anvil on your head if she thought she could get away with it. And, maybe if she couldn't.