Jurassic World 2

[greygoose]

Oh and the super cool scene with the T-Rex stomping through the drive-in? NOT IN THE FINISHED FILM!

Saw that. They don't even show her being captured right?

 

[Khev]

I know most of the plot. As soon as I started seeing the negative reviews I wanted to prepare myself for the worst when I see it tomorrow.

I'm still confused as to

Spoiler:

why there are so many dinosaurs living in the wild when only a handful of them escaped at the end of Fallen Kingdom. Is this explained?

Spoiler:

Nope they just show some news footage of reporters reminding people that the dinos started out on JP in 1993, then wreaked havoc at the park in 2015, then were moved to the mainland where they spread to other continents. Done.

As a matter of fact a lot of the cool stuff that I thought would be major events in the film (Mossosaurus wreaking havoc in the ocean, that giant dinosaur nesting on top of a sky scraper, etc.) were all shown in those super brief news clips and then never revisited again.

 

[Khev]

Saw that. They don't even show her being captured right?

Correct.

 

[greygoose]

Spoiler:

Nope they just show some news footage of reporters reminding people that the dinos started out on JP in 1993, then wreaked havoc at the park in 2015, then were moved to the mainland where they spread to other continents. Done.

As a matter of fact a lot of the cool stuff that I thought would be major events in the film (Mossosaurus wreaking havoc in the ocean, that giant dinosaur nesting on top of a sky scraper, etc.) were all shown in those super brief news clips and then never revisited again.

Yikes! At least my expectations are low going into it tomorrow.

 

[jye4ever]

Unbelievably disappointing movie! Watch it at your own risk! I'm not kidding!

You sure you don’t want a Colin Trevorrow SW movie lol

 

[Khev]

You sure you don’t want a Colin Trevorrow SW movie lol

Oh my gosh it really felt like he was trying so hard to make the "anti-ST" movie with the way he treated all the main characters. Are you mad that Han, Luke, and Leia went through some tough stuff, showed flaws, and died? Well be careful what you wish for, lol.

 

[jye4ever]

Is it true that a T-Rex

Spoiler:

is stopped by the hand lol

Is this movie really about locust’s lol

 

[Khev]

In case anyone wants a spoiler-y summary:

Spoiler:

Movie starts out with dinosaurs on every continent. Then we learn that a genetics company has bred giant two foot long locusts that will swarm the planet consuming the globe's food supply while they make trillions selling seeds genetically engineered to produce crops that the locusts don't eat and that same genetics company has a dinosaur sanctuary in a remote part of the globe. So all of our intrepid heroes go to the sanctuary to solve the stupid locust problem and then they just repeat the same plot of all the other movies with characters running around science labs and the forest outside (all of it very contained) trying to avoid the occasional dinosaur. They solve the locust problem and the movie ends just like it began, with dinosaurs running amok on every continent. A completely pointless story that neither advances the narrative nor delivers any thrills in the process.

 

[Khev]

Is it true that a T-Rex

Spoiler:

is stopped by the hand lol

Is this movie really about locust’s lol

Read my post above if you really want to know, lol.

Again I did like the Malta sequence because it literally felt I was watching a James Bond or Mission: Impossible movie but with dinosaurs. They even introduced this cool mercenary chick who I thought was going to be a major villain in the film but then they literally just take her out of the movie and pretend she never existed and it was all lame from that point on.

 

[Rotfish]

A completely pointless story

Sounds like John Wick 3, except

Spoiler:

with locusts instead of, you know, gun fights.

Can't say I regret avoiding the last two JW movies. Just bums me out that the trilogy driving most of the franchise's merchandise and hype is the crappier one.

 

[Khev]

The "Gigasaurus" or whatever it's called which is basically this film's Indominous Rex:

Spoiler:

Doesn't kill a single human or dinosaur! Nothing! And yet they staged the final battle as if it was Cap and Thor taking on Thanos. I didn't know if I should be embarrassed for Trevorrow for making this or myself for watching it, lol.

 

[jye4ever]

People are literally going straight from Top Gun into this holy dichotomy lol

 

[Khev]

People are literally going straight from Top Gun into this holy dichotomy lol

Holy crap I totally forgot to mention that. One week after watching actual aerial footage of actors in F-18's they give us a super extended sequence of Bryce Dallas Howard ejecting from a plane and parachuting with some of the worst green screen we've seen in modern cinema!

 

[Wor-Gar]

I expected this. They'll never top Zara's death from Jurassic World.

I am curious if Maulfan will remain "Khev'd" about his dinosaurs though.


NOTE: "Khev'd" means jacked up and enthusiastic in full Star Wars-protection mode

 

[Khev]

I expected this. They'll never top Zara's death from Jurassic World.

Nope not even close. There's not a single Zara moment in this film, nor is there a Nedry, SLJ, Muldoon, lawyer on the toilet, or one single likable secondary or tertiary character that gets eaten. Just main characters with script immunity as far as the eye can see. That guy on the scooter that gets gobbled up in the trailer? Congratulations you just witnessed half of the on-screen deaths in this movie.

I am curious if Maulfan will remain "Khev'd" about his dinosaurs though.


NOTE: "Khev'd" means jacked up and enthusiastic in full Star Wars-protection mode

If he does I imagine it'll be because he focuses on the positive of the Malta chase and the warm fuzzies of seeing the Legacy characters on screen and interacting with the new heroes.

 

[Wor-Gar]

the warm fuzzies of seeing the Legacy characters on screen

That is what the T-rex should eat alive! I want to watch him chew that up and spit it out because it tastes so nasty.





I want to see:

Han: Chewie, we're ho-- ** T-rex eats him!**

Peter Parker #1: Where does that stuff come-- **T-rex eats him!!!**

Maverick and Goose's son hug in the snow. **T-rex eats them both**

Ghostbuster children smile at ghost Egon-- **T-rex eats a ghost!!!!!** (never seen that)

 

[Khev]

That is what the T-rex should eat alive! I want to watch him chew that up and spit it out because it tastes so nasty.





I want to see:

Han: Chewie, we're ho-- ** T-rex eats him!**

Peter Parker #1: Where does that stuff come-- **T-rex eats him!!!**

Maverick and Goose's son hug in the snow. **T-rex eats them both**

Ghostbuster children smile at ghost Egon-- **T-rex eats a ghost!!!!!** (never seen that)

I really thought that

Spoiler:

they might dare to have Malcolm bite the dust to add some stakes to the story when the group of 14 main characters ran from the Gigasaur and he stayed behind to distract it. He's waving this big stick with a flaming giant locust on the end (<---and not one part of this sentence is made up, it all happened in the movie, lol) to get the Gigasaur's attention like they did with the flares in JP1 but instead of casting it aside to lure the dino away he throws it like a javelin perfectly into the dino's mouth causing it to it choke, sputter, and then begin breathing fire as he runs past it and joins all the other immune characters in a place of safety.

 

[Wor-Gar]

At least this answers the question: would Trevorrow have made a batter Star Wars.

 

[jye4ever]

I really thought that

Spoiler:

they might dare to have Malcolm bite the dust to add some stakes to the story when the group of 14 main characters ran from the Gigasaur and he stayed behind to distract it. He's waving this big stick with a flaming giant locust on the end (<---and not one part of this sentence is made up, it all happened in the movie, lol) to get the Gigasaur's attention like they did with the flares in JP1 but instead of casting it aside to lure the dino away he throws it like a javelin perfectly into the dino's mouth causing it to it choke, sputter, and then begin breathing fire as he runs past it and joins all the other immune characters in a place of safety.

Which means Snow Speeder girl is NOT the goofiest thing this week!

Thank You JWD!

 

[Wor-Gar]

Snowspeeder Girl vs Vespa Girl