Re: Star Wars: The Last Jedi SPOILER DISCUSSION THREAD
Just got back from it and I saw all the glowing reviews online and then came here. Thank god for you guys all hating it, because I feel like I am not crazy now.
It was so long, tepid, and lifeless. I didn't feel anything. I mean I was kinda bummed, I guess. At least I hated and was angry at the prequels
There was an emotion. Disney dragged out the rotting corpse of Star Wars and they zapped it with electricity to try and make it look alive, for my entertainment ... Cripes. How many MacGuffins can you use to prop your movie up with? Was this the movie with the most Macguffins ever? 'Find Luke ... Get the codebreaker ... turn off the thing ... Get on the planet ...' and a million smaller ones. I think we need a 'one MacGuffin per movie' rule. 'General, we've got to thing the thing so we can thing! This will restore hope to the galaxy!'
That hyperspeed (light speed?) kamikaze trick sure would have been useful against the Death Stars, huh? Jumping out of hyperspeed to drop something off right next to an enemy ship and then hyperspeeding away again sure would be a useful trick, huh? What if what you dropped off was a bomb instead of a Rey? And people are very easily able to steal ships and get through shields whenever the plot demands it, yet the relentlessness and power of the First Order fleet is meant to be a major plot point and the fleet is basically the antagonist.
How many times do they have to say 'hope'? What hope are we supposed to be feeling? That the central characters will be ok and triumph? WELL GEEZE DO YOU THINK THEY WILL? Oh how inspiring. You followed standard protagonist storytelling rules. I feel such hope.
So many characters and Kylo Ren was the only one I found interesting. I didn't mind Rey and Finn in the last one but here Rey was cardboard and Finn was barely in it. I like the idea of 'The Jedi were flawed and we should start afresh and good vs bad is a faulty idea' but it's hard to execute that in a rip-roarin' adventure movie, and it didn't really work here.
It's nice they tried to do something different with Luke, but I don't know. It didn't feel like Luke to me. The dude who went out of his way to save Darth Vader, mass murderer, is tempted
to kill his own sleeping nephew, from behind? The nephew his beloved sister and adventuring partner put specifically in his care? I mean sure, Luke's traumatised, whatever. That would be cool for any other character but Luke. I don't quite buy it. I kind of like the intention! Show the grey areas. But Luke is an established character and we feel like we 'know' what he would and wouldn't do.
And were we supposed to be charmed by the milking? Blue milk comes from some semi-aquatic species? And it's the staple drink on Tattooine? But we need a blue milk gag because us Star Wars fans can't stop talking about blue milk, right? It's soooo essential to the mythos.
They applied the 'Marvel movie carbon copier' to all the dialogue. That stuff might work in Marvel movies, but the cheap reflections always just come off as cheap reflections.
But hey Adrian Edmondson was in it. It was fun to see him as generic baddie officer #346198. Young Ones and Bottom fans rejoice! But he didn't even tell a joke, in a movie filled with awkward jokes.
I used cinema rewards points to see it for free and I still feel like I paid too much. So much stuff not explained or dropped. Fun moments, but they were too diluted by the unevenness and the tedious length. It's somehow the Star Wars movie with the slowest pacing, and yet also a lot is thrown in and underdeveloped. One suspects too many cooks.
Eh, sorry for the rant, but I got home shaking my head, saw all the glowing reviews, thought whaaaa? Am I mad? And then seeing opinions here that rang true made this thread feel like a haven
I had to vent. This is me smashing my helmet against a wall, like in one of the few good scenes with one of the few interesting characters, Kylo.
I mean I probably sound more down on it then I feel. It just seemed like a bit of a mess, so I don't actually feel much one way or the other. The bad cancelled out the good ... IS THAT LIKE THE BALANCE OF THE FORCE? Man, so meta. Maybe I have to re-evaluate this movie ...
The Red Letter Media review better be worth it.
This is all, of course, just my stupid, standard-movie-goer opinion, and if people enjoyed it then I am very happy for them, because an enjoyable continuation or reboot of an old favourite is a special kind of fun and should be treasured.
Spoiler: 
