- Nov 17, 2008
- Reaction score
I can sense your anger it makes you strong. Hence forth you will be known as . Darth … SomberWhat can I say? I thought it sucked. It had no soul. It was lifeless. A ragtag crew of losers join together to make the ultimate sacrifice. So what? Why should we care about any of these guys? They were one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs from central casting. I couldn't even remember their names. Maze Chirrut? Bohdi something?
All it was was an excuse to shovel Memba Berries down the audience's throats. Oh memba Tarkin! I memba! Except now he looks like a oily skinned cartoon. Same with that ghoulish Princess Leia at the end. Memba the Death Star? Wanna see X-Wings and Ackbars and "It's a trap!!" and Y-Wings and ****? HELL YEAH! It's like Star Wars....ON STEROIDS! It was a video game. No heart. Just flashy computer graphics. No stakes. Who cares about these people? Unlike everyone under 35, I get no enjoyment out of watching other people play video games. It bores the piss out of me. More than half the movie was just sitting there watching a video game you can't control.
And then there's the gratuitous Vader massacre scene. That was several minutes of pure angsty SW fan fiction as imagined by a disillusioned teen. "YEAH MF, I wanna see the ******* blood spraying on the walls as Vader just ******* straight MURDERS those losers!! YYYEAAAAH!! You don't **** with the Vader!!"
I know Vader's a bad guy. I knew that from the moment he walked through the smoky doorway in Star Wars. He didn't have to kill anyone. His appearance and presence told a thousand words. Him choking the captain to death pretty much cemented it. I'm no prude when it comes to violence in movies, but that hallway killing spree just felt completely off in a Star Wars movie, and it seemed to come from a place of spite and anger. I was not one of the bloodthirsty fanboys screaming and howling in their seat when they saw that scene. In fact, I was barely awake. The whole beginning and middle of the movie were so dreadfully dull that I fell asleep! And clearly I didn't miss anything cause when I woke up it was still painfully boring, but now with more rain and gloom.
Rogue One sucked. Yeah, I said it.